Have you tried navigating a trolley full of luggage into Chennai airport sweeping past hordes of relatives all huddled together waving at their wards . With promises to return soon , eat medicines , produce babies , write emails , pray to god ,all hanging in the air. The wards you can see have their hearts torn between two continents and their clothing reflects their nostalgia shared. sparkling nike and leather jacket jostles for space with jimki and malli poo which will all be tucked away till the next trip back . As we try to wrestle these persistent relatives who are so moved by the situation they refuse to budge . Me not known for physical might but tongue power I have been bestowed by the almighty try to tell them ,please move. they stand their transfixed waiting to catch the little pinky of the good bye . Many times I have been trampled on or have my suitcases thrown down or have relatives trying to enter the airport along with me .
Which brings me to my scientific research findings. For each adult that leaves Chennai airport an average 2.1 adults accompany them. If there is baby add another 1.7 , bigger children you can add another.7 . If they are fully grown and I mean American size growth minus about.485 adults . So for each family going to America there is a send off party of 4 adults , 8 massive cases , half of grand sweets , RMKV pothy´s and a sprinkling of nalli. Not to mention mixer grinder , sumeet mixie all forming part of the send off experience .
have you noticed Indians do very few things in solitude. Except the utmost neccesity...I had to have some injections for an allergy . The doctor said 5 injections over 10 days.Every time the nurse would take me in she would pull the curtain and peep outside and wait . After the third . poke me quick I can get out experience , she asked me if I was married. I said yes , mother in same city. I said yes . Is it relevant . So nurse says , madam you always come alone . No one to come with you . Why I ask ? Normally women come with some one . Really I ask. See I dont relish having these injections and I dont really think my husband is very fond of seeing needles. My mom would freak out if she saw blood . So trust me I am better off. Nurse looks very strangely at me and takes in her next normal patient , lady with mother , water bottle , napkin etc etc.
Next I run to buy furniture. I see in the store full families shopping , debating sitting , jumping , sleeping on mattress . I run in ask do you have a sofa for 20,000 . Good Is it fittable in my living room. Good. send it over buddy. The sales man says madam do you want to look. No . Want to come back. No. Just send it . My husband never really notices the sofa as long as I can clean all the food we can spill on it . So sofa in solitude retail is good
Then enter a sari shop. This is the shop I dread most . When all the fancy saries are thrown at me I dont know what to do . I look quickly . Ok this sari looks reasonable . It has a blouse piece. Good that saves me the headache of finding mera wala green.While I try to pay , you see full families looking through saris. The husband says green is not your colour. The mother says in muted tones ... your mother in law is paying buy more fancy sari . the wife wants a Vidya balan ensemble . Put all this together you have a two hour family shopping experience where saris are seen in tube light , no light and the taken out on the road to see in natural light . Do we actually wear our saris on busy T nagar streets for its natural colour to show ??The experience is then followed by snacks and tea .
Many times when husband is away I bring on the calorie mela. Parantas doused in butter , vadas with ghee and brownie and muffin . So I like to go to these swanky cafe shops and pretend to be cool and gorge on muffins. Every five minutes I get asked, madam is someone joining ... No I am here to eat so that when my husband returns we can go back to bircher museli and stewed fruit... They look at me strangely. Every time a person walks in they look at the person and me and see if there is some buzz!sometimes flattering sometimes you think aiyo yo
Why do we have to be together all the time ... In India if you buy a curtain , the family has bought a curtain . Everyone will visit to see the curtain , the nice ones say eh cool. The older ones say is this a curtain , looks like some cloth has been attached . In our times curtain meant a curtain ... Ok I get the point
Ok I never invited you for curtain seeing ceremony. Now that you are here have the bajis and move on . I hate this come and see my house I have new curtains. And how does that change my curtains. Why do we need to see your curtains or sofa ... But we always see the curtain and say oh nice and on the drive home you bitch ... that curtain is so bad. My god how can you buy that curtain. But in family retail law do unto your curtain what other do unto theirs
Abroad we have burst crackers in our yard and no one turns and looks ... or question. But in India togetherness is love and you can never have enough of that, although love at times is 24x7 indulgence