Wednesday, 16 June, 2010

Cleanliness is next to godliness

By now you all have been introduced to my maid . The days when she comes and I am there I get a sneak preview into what makes this woman tick. Bring god into everything , give a Arasi look with zoom in zoom out action when asked why did u break my jar... if Madam is still not relenting ... turn on the taps. In a nutshell she is my maid. In my head I have boxed her , cajoled her and also think of a life where I dont stand by the lift at 8.30 like a pit bull awaiting her arrival and then turn into a little lap dog when i see my floor pressed .

My maid is honest , never lies never cheats and never robs. So I indulge her superstitions. Which are let me quote . When I have my ladies days I dont collect godly rubbish. Ok thats reasonable. On amavasai I light lamp , make payasam and vadai come late for work. No maid No. Ok I bring crunchy masala vadais to work. Ok then amavasai is forgiven. She does make very good vadai . That gives my cook a vadai complex.
Ok on Fridays I dont collect garbage . Why . It is godly day . Ah . That is not happening. But you see Friday is clean day . Ok Ok clean is always good .
Then comes killing insects and animals . In India we all run little abattoirs seeing how to put a lizard in trance use a bata chapal to down the roach. keep cakes for rats .... Its a chenobyl in the back yard.
Maid says Tuesday Friday no animal murders . Ah but if animal is running around what can I do . Maid says no ma that lizard will send us to hell. By this point I realise I am going there anyway and in all probability dragging maid with me . So i take out the plastic bag.... and sparing you the lizaard hara kiri kill the thing. Ma maid says have bath and light lamp ... your sin will go .
I chew slowly ... then of course comes PMS. she has serious PMs . When the bad moon rises maid has problems with iron man , cook , gardener. So when its Pms time I shout at my husband stop throwing garbage the next four days there is no garbage bag removal. Husband thinks its not even your bad moon thats rising why do I deal with 2 PMS every month. Good question husband ... today is TGIF you see maid is in godly mode and my devil avatar is hanging out ... and this devil doesnt even wear prada .. just good old bata hawai .. because the hawai chapal can kill a Roach with one phat no prada or choo can come close.. for some its TGIF and for its OH GGIF oh god its friday


  1. you brave woman. you kill lizards? do you freelance? i hate those creatures.
    and i love the 2pms deal :)

  2. @ummon i grew into the lizard killer role. you throw a plastic bag on the creature and wait . in a day normally it is dead!! try it ....

  3. LOL! on zoom-in zoom-out action

    Plastic bag to kill lizards? I think if you market this idea will become uber-rich

    Just curious have you tried mosquito bat on roaches?

  4. எங்க வீட்டுல வாளியில பிடிச்சு பல்லிய வெளிய விட்டுவிடுவோம்.

  5. ha ha ha.. that was fun...yep maids have this in-built (!!) mechanism - they set it to a predetermined time based on the pay the lady of the house gives them and their own loyalty (of course there is no proportional relation between these two factors).. once the timer rings, they are off....

  6. Hey Aruna...loved this one!! i liked the part where you were brave enough to drag your maid on your trip above!!
    Keep the blogs coming!