Thursday, 23 June, 2011

The Great Indian Room makeover

In our new Sub urban Chic avatars we bought Bauhaus tables , Roche bobois chaise lounges , the Shanghai Tang lamp and then decided to bring it in to our gated comm unties . First is to bring it in through the staircase so that all neighbours notice that you know habitat from ikea .After this globe trotter furniture orgy indulgence I asked Kalimuthu and Vairamuthu to put the furniture down , they scratched their heads which meant 20 rs tea money . One more scratch of the head meant Tea money at USD rates . See this is phoren furniture . If you can buy furniture that can scald your credit card , then the Muthu twosome should get some decent tea to go with it. The M brothers then ask Ma can we remove the plastic on the chairs ? Remove the plastic on the chairs ? NO NO . Aiya will do it later. Aiyah doing it later means it will never get done .

The Muthu brothers give me a look , this is what happens when women do men´s work.
So we have textured walls , state of the art furniture which we have no idea how they looked as they are all cocooned in bubble wrap. Every time guests come the bubble wrap is carefully folded , and the visitors are signalled to mount their backsides politely on the settee . When someone says very comfortable , just slides in. My husband looks at me. He would never know , all that he knows is when he gets comfortable the bubble wrap starts getting all bubbly and with a silent stern I look at him. We cant waste bubble wrap .

But not only our sofas get the plastic treatment my in laws ensure that the microwave is covered in plastic , the TV remote has so much plastic we sometimes don't know which channel we press. My 1995 camera and 2002 mobile phone still have the plastic stuck on to them with cello tape. The screen is cracked and the numbers doused in turmeric powder. Between A & D there are pieces of appalam that never come out but the screen is completely plastered.The Tv has a plastic cover and a cloth cover . My maid constantly covers the bathroom shelves with so much newspaper that my teeth turned whiter just reading the headlines from a 2 year old paper.

Then one day my husband says Oh you know our neighbours have this Roche bobois chair seems extremely comfortable , you should try it . I give him the look of Satan . What do you mean . I am the Roche Bobois woman of the community. We were the first ones to buy it. Remember we dragged it all the way up 3 floors . He said this bubble wrap thingy is that chair . So I decide gloves off and exhibit the brand new chair . No one dares sits on it though. So I decide to get the 3M combo of Kali, Vaira and carpenter Cheena Muthu. Cheen comes in takes a look and says Madam , idha Rocha chair a . In local material I can make it for 10000. So cheena does the job. 10000 and the Bobois local thambi is up and working. So now with our textured walls we have one chair in bubble wrap and the local thambi chair that looks as chic as the original next to it. By now local thambi has had his fill of rasam , sambar and full south Indian meals doused on it. The original Anna sits in the corner with the bubble wrap contemplating the little crudite that fell on his lap and was quickly cleaned with sofa rage and Bang off .

In a few years we may soon forget that the chair actually has a colour , and a life. My maid says this is the best chair in the room, that cleaning it is so easy . Yes cleaning bubble wrap must be easy. We have since sold the old bubble wrap , bought new bubble wrap by selling one months aaavin covers and English newspapers(they have more value)but removing the wrap completely takes a lot of courage and a change in our plastic coated DNA


  1. wow! hilarious:D Did you peep into my house?

    HEHEHE. It took nearly 10 years to feel the softness of our leather sofa, 10 years because that is when the plastic cover got tired and broke off.

    very nice, make posts often!!


  2. adi dhool...btw what is crudite?

    you must write more often