The V day is back. And what all is being offered . V day yoga poses claimed a web site. What is a V day yoga pose really?
Now what is this V day .
I remember in our convent school we used to huddle up in the library to read Women´s Era. That was the ultimate in Agony Aunt bashan . The girl always loved her neighbor but was shy to declare her love . Auntyji always said to write a poem , send a rose or tell a friend to declare it. Now we have the Cosmopolitan version of auntyji. 50 love tricks that never fail. Imagine us harried woman we have trouble remembering our Mother in law´s birthday. 50 tricks that have to be remembered and acted upon !
Ok I decided that if I am wasting so much money on these magazines I should execute at least one love trick. It said Surprise your loved one with a vacation . OK done. So I book a hotel in Berlin for my loved one´s birthday . I tell to loved one come to Berlin this hotel . So I arrive 2 hours before loved one should arrive. Enough time to execute the other 3 tips. Decorate room , have favourite food. Now favourite food was a chocolate cake baked with love in Madrid with frosting to cover the unpleasant curves on the cake ( I know what you are thinking) ok! Now this cake was squeezed into aluminum box. Indians always have tupper, zip pouch and aluminum cases in all sizes! So armed with all this I take a train then a plane then a bus and get to this love shack hotel . So I sit in hotel and think loved one will come in 2 hours . Enough time to play sudoku, freecell and laze. And while I am enjoying all this laze haze . Bell rings . So I open door and there I see loved one. I say what you , so fast . He said why ?? You have to come only by 13.00. He says yes I caught an earlier train. Aah earlier train. Now love tip doesnt have Plan B . If loved one arrives early say in chaste tamil Ona aaru early a vara solra . Loved one says Its my birthday you have to be nice. First you book a hotel and the concierge looks at me strangely and says the lady already checked in . I wanted to give a name like POcahontas at reception a la Notting Hill . But when they saw my face and height or rather the lack of it . My passport was asked . So out goes pocahontas and tip no . 11 , book room under spicy name .
Ok now I am physically pushing loved one and say wait outside five minutes .
Shut door and read the fire exit instructions. DO NOT PANIC !!
Panic . The chocolate cake is now being elbowed out of aluminium foil , where are the candles and there are no matches now . Where is the birthday gift. Why did I put it in end of suitcase. And loved one is banging door. By now I realized he is not loved one , but testing my patience . Loved one says open the door I cant stand outside with my luggage . Wait . Again knocks . What are you doing . I say Wait . He says where do you get these ideas. cant we do normal things .
Yes why cant we be Normal on Feb 14TH
How practical is actually buying red roses , filling a bed room with candles and then when the maid comes the next day and looks around a bed full of molten wax , what do you say , This Electricity always goes on feb 14!!
Or while you are doing a Gisele Bundchen from Victoria Secret , next door mami decides to surprise you with a bowl full of undai korambu. What do you say , Mami i am not open door now not even out of door for that matter...
V day is such a nice concept . You fantasize that a George Clooney would serve you Nespresso and a Michelin star chef would cook you a meal and there are roses and orchids and you are wearing a Gown. But even when I dream I have problems I dont wear gowns , first I dont get them in my size as kidswear is where I am mostly removing goofy and mickey from trousers ... Flowers I am allergic too . I love George Clooney and Nespresso , Chef I would prefer my mami´s rasam and potato roast.
You say it with roses, with words but when there is love you dont say it. When the gajar halwa looks more like a carrot that has been gored to a very unsweet death and the mixie lid flies off like a saucer taking its orange contents all over. A laugh from the other side and a hug is all that you need . Ok after that George Clooney can be arranged to bring in the coffee .....